The 10 Commandments for Driving in Boise
I don't know if it's the California transplants or if we're just flat out bad at driving here in Idaho but you pretty much see it all here. The following is our 10 Commandments for driving in Boise.
*Disclaimer: this is a joke. PLEASE, people, STOP doing these things*
If I-84 is part of your commute, you absolutely MUST stay in the left lane, NO MATTER WHAT! 15 to 20 miles under the speed limit, DO NOT GET OVER. A line of cars two miles long behind you, DO NOT GET OVER. Why would you allow others to pass you? You were there first right?
Turn right on a red light. This is commonly done after one has stopped and cautiously made sure no other cars are coming but some like to hang out there for extended periods of time. Hey, we've got nothing to do. We love checking out your bumper stickers for an extra 40 or 50 seconds.
Turn right on a red light part II. Why look for anyone coming at all when you can just roll on through like you own that road. I think they literally call this a California Stop and yes, Californians, we're pointing the finger at you again.
Don't drive the speed limit EVER! Broadway is notorious for drivers going a good 20 to 30 mph over. Now I'm a big BSU fan but you got to wonder if all those college kids might have something to do with that.
No need to let anyone in. Especially in areas like Nampa where I-84 crams down to one lane. That extra 10 to 15 seconds you might save by making sure nobody squeezes in front of you is going to make all the difference in the world.
Become a social media pro. There's no better place to text, call, facebook, snapchat and Instagram right? Oh, and when you're taking those cute little selfies while driving make sure you take at least 10. Girl gotta look GOOD!
No need to munch on finger food when you can pull out a seven-course meal to get your GRUB on. Your meal should include condiments and multiple side orders that are really messy too.
Running red lights... NO PROBLEM. And we aren't just talking about the yellow questionable red lights, we are talking full on, been red for 5 seconds red lights. Oh, and make sure you wave to all the cars that have to sit and wait for you while you're crushing that intersection.
Anyone over 70 has the right to drive down the middle of two lanes. Hey, and do it on Eagle Road where we hardly ever have traffic right? Ha!
Please disregard all signs when parking and make sure you get the absolute best and closest spot possible. Don't worry about handicap people or expectant mothers. The exercise will do them good.