Millennial Dilemmas 

More than most generations, millennials catch a lot crap for the way we live, how we think, and the choices we make. As a self-described "senior millennial," I take exception to the majority of the criticisms hurled at my fellow '80s babies. At 36-years-old, I'm a happily married wife of 15 years, I'm a mother, and my career is thriving.

The Struggles of Puppy Parenting

Speaking of motherhood, two of my kiddos happen to be furry and four-legged. That's right, I'm a proud dog momma to two beautiful Labradors with happy tails, energy for days, and needs that require tending to. That said, I'm no stranger to the demands of dog parenting. Of all the responsibilities associated with owning dogs, managing their waste is one of the worst!

No one enjoys picking up dog poop, right? But even a millennial such as myself understands that it has to get done. That's why I was particularly annoyed to learn a Baby Boomer was the culprit behind the dog poop mystery plaguing our front yard. Morning after morning, we'd wake up to fresh, heaping piles of turd in our front lawn. They didn't belong to our dogs, and they weren't left behind by our immediate neighbors' dogs.

Okay, Boomer

For years we wondered who had the audacity to let their dog poop on our lawn in Star. Now we know. It was mid-week around 4:25 a.m. when I spotted the shadowy figure of a woman letting her dog defecate on our grass about 20 feet into our yard. As we exchanged glares, the little old lady knew she was busted.

Dressed in a snappy velour jogging suit and taking leisurely drags from her Virginia Slim, the hip old granny laughed and said, "So I guess this is your yard then? I'll be right back with something to clean this up." Expressionless, I replied, "It's been you all these years, hasn't it?" Laughing again, she waved me off and turned to walk away.

The Last Laugh

When I got home later that evening, I was frustrated to see that the dog poop was still there. It's been two months since my encounter with hip old granny, and she's still letting her pup poop on our lawn. But come next spring, we'll have the last laugh. We're setting our sprinkler system to go off at 4:26 a.m. every morning.

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