Revenge of The Wipe Swipers

Three weeks ago, if you had told me that toilet paper and sanitary wipes would be the hottest commodities in the Treasure Valley, I'd ask you what type of The Weed you were smoking? The pre-coronavirus world seems like an imaginary fairy tale filled with unicorns and pixies. Today our community has turned into a hyper-driven mass of Vikings roaming from store to store searching for that elusive roll of tp or a can of Lysol.
Recently, someone stole a container of sanitary wipes from my workspace. Yes, hygienic wipes. I thought no big deal, I'll go to the store, several stores if necessary and I'll have no problem sanitizing my area. After visiting Winco, Walgreens, Albertson's and Fred Myer, I was happy to find a can of the antibacterial pledge.
My little foray into the world of retail is hardly unique. A young man by the name of Jay called in this morning to let us know that Walmart has two big guys to make sure you only get one package of toilet paper. Idahoans are lining up outside of grocery stores as they use to for their favorite music acts. Instead of getting the best seats, they're getting household items that were taken for granted a month ago. Another man reported he saw an employee take a package of tp to his car before the store opened. When looking for the elusive toilet paper, he was disappointed that the store was out of the precious tp. So much for the customer comes first.